I am simply giving it my all...things i have learnt..still am learning...i am giving it all today....Don't v the opportunity to vent all the time verbally...i just want to do it here...lots of love to my readers..
As i start this text i am yet to figure out what to title it....people are just driving me crazy today.i am surrounded by selfish, self centred, idiotic people.Realized that wanting people to think, react and see the world through my eyes is nothing but a waste of time.As much as you want to remain rational and accept them for who they are, they keep on taunting and pushing..just dont understand. Right now i feel like just moving aaaaawaayy just to get way from the craziness.
yeah i know, what a way to start off from my long sojourn but with tyme i guess we will get to understand.
i'll probably blog around to see if someone has something worth pondering over..
No high jump o....i am really back...i cant wait to share my gist...you all make me really happy. I am at the office right now doing what i am still being paid for.. I am dating the most wonderful man ever...he's the sweetest thing that has ever happened to me(grin!!!)... no o not that dude i spoke about two years ago, a different one......
You all cant imagine how floored i am with the comments i v gotten inspite of my awol..i am grateful that there are still people like y'all out there... i really need to step it up this year and return to what i really loved doing...believe me so many changes, stories, mistakes, revolutions, breakthroughs, tears and joys..i just pray that i dont run away again...
hey peeps, i am backkkkk....been a really long tyme....
got so much to share about my long sojourn...can't wait...missed you all so much...
love...lots of it
Sunday, December 14, 2008
In the last couple of weeks I have been exceedingly happy and worried at the same time. Time spent away from my blog has been really and truly painful. Every single day I had thought about fulfilling obligation to my blog but I just couldn’t find the time. This place is my refuge, my quiet and true place of solace and for a while now I have been thinking of making this post but in honesty I feared your judgments, yet I expect so much response from you all. I would like to share a secret with you all; to some it might be a great shock to others a regular life experience, but right now I just wanted to vent. On the 4th of November, a tall handsome man walked into my life. I didn’t think much of anything as regards the relationship, I just wanted it to take a natural course and of course it did. I have enjoyed the bliss of being in a relationship, there have been no hassles, and things have been totally wonderful. Added to the resume is the envy and constant bicker I get from colleagues as regards my catch. We go everywhere together; spend all the available time together. He even follows me to the salon. The Toll of events got me thinking I had found my own. Less than three weeks in the relationship he kept on insisting he wanted to meet my family. I was concerned because meeting the family meant a great deal to the relationship, to me it signified he wanted more than a casual relationship. I shoved the issue several times to be exactly sure he knew what he was up against, but he still didn’t budge. So obviously I gave in and introduced him to my family. My mother was excited, yet I was cautious seeing this was the first man I was introducing to her as the one I was dating. He repped well and I couldn’t be happier with him. Now this is where the worrisome part comes in! He never lied to me about anything or let me correct myself I have never caught him in a lie. He told me he was married with three kids. In fairness to God by the time he told me, I was already caught up and totally into him. I have tried to leave him twice and on each count he has asked me to be patient that with time he would tell me the entire truth. Deep within me I knew there was more, oh a lot more he wasn’t telling me but I wanted him to come to telling me himself without me putting pressure on him. We spend our entire weekends together and each time I keep pushing him to call home, but he just never does, he keeps giving excuses and postponing when to call. He just got a place and I literally helped him move in and settle down. So on a certain Friday, he was travelling to Lagos, and after we were done packing he said he had something to tell me and that it was important. I froze in fear not sure what to expect but yet expecting anything could happen. He said to me and I quote that he was having problems at home. Out of fear almost immediately I stopped him from speaking and told we would talk about it once he returned. He came back a couple of days later and we got talking. He told me he was in the middle of a divorce. He said that I should have noticed there was problem because he never spoke about her, never calls except when he wants to talk to the kids, neither has she bothered to come see him after he moved to the new place. He also told me that to what purpose would he want to meet my family if he wasn’t taking me seriously. Believe me all when I say I still have head squared absolutely on my shoulder. People call me pessimistic because to whatever I do I try to vary the cons more than the pros. I have carefully thought about everything and truthfully I would love to put my eggs in one basket with me. I have written about dating a married man and I frankly feel weird being in the midst of this whole saga. At this stage I am in I need of all the advice I can get. Have I gone far ahead of myself? Truthfully I have single men in tow but I just can’t shake off why I chose him over them all. Asides from the fact that I have been really into work; this has been my extra curricular activities.
I am so tired and in need of some good sleep,but i knew i wanted to say something on my blog before going to bed.
Its been so long.....eighteen days long....wow....na wah oh...(omo wase o rise)....yoruba slango!
No doubt i love my job, its fun and exciting.A whole world of difference from what i used to do.I resumed as soon as i got my offer letter.It was so fast i couldn't believe myself.
The first hours @ work was stressless until i met the regional manager later in the day.Directly from Lagos i was posted to the Customer Relations desk, just what wanted....who wanted to go about marketing for some obscene amount of money.Like i was saying jare,i was already doing rounds with old staff when the RM called me and said i should resume at anoda branch as a marketer....arrgghhhh was my response, shame no catch me oh!.I no fit shout as it was my first day and all and i had to leave a very good impression,plus he told me he had the final say.
So off i went to the newly assigned branch...i was pissed off but wetin i go do now.When i got there,the branch manager also told me in a very annoying manner that shouldn't even contest anything that i should just go to marketing.
There and then i gave up and left my fate in the hands of God.While they were taking me around, an angel came to my rescue. I didn't know him from adam, yet he chose to fight for me.He sorta kinda have the wims and caprices to make things happen in the bank...na so he carrry my case for head.He said i was going back to the orginally assigned branch and position.
Sha long story short, the next day i was back at the old branch, with the RM saying he only brought me back as a personal favour to my angel.That wan no concern me oh as long as i got what i desired....selfish..selfish
After that time,its been two weeks now and i have not only experienced peace but indescribable favour.I made new and exciting friends.Frankly i didn't know there was life outside my regular day to day before now.
The pay is fantastic, a huge margin from what have been earning in the last three years.
I am enjoying my job and i am really happy about it.Remember that time i almost had a panic attack cos some of my friends were employed before me into marketing,the lesson i garnered from it is that one should never compare oneself with others.U won't believe it, my friends are complaining immensely about the stress of marketing right now.I don't envy them oh!
I am so tired right now,i want to go to bed...i'll talk to you guys soonest.
I have been waiting in the last few weeks to share this with you, infact i had rehearsed what i would say and write about it.
I was called, i got in, i got the job with the bank!yipppeeee!!! I am so excited.
It came when i wasn't expecting it, i wasn't frantic or anxious anymore and the call came. All the drama i had prepared in my head that i would do when i get the call, i don't know how i escaped without doing them.
Most importantly, i want to use this opportunity to thank everyone who shared, motivated and consoled me during that period.
Wheewww! i am so grateful another hurdle has been crossed,i have moved finally from the 5D wage to the 6figure pack, very interesting i must say, a very much needed change.
I am resuming asap, isn't that cool.
I am blogging from a cyber cafe in another town,far away from home, so forgive the length of this post, i'll do a better job next time.
But thanks to everyone, i'll do my blog rounds when i get to my beloved PC.
What are the defining characters of one is who is picky or choosy when it comes to relationships?
Is being picky and choosy in itself wrong?
My friend asked me today, if she were the one responsible for her single state?She told me her friends took her for the above mentioned when asked to weigh her out.
She has been in countless relationships, both with the married men and single men.All of which have brought nothing to show for it.
She met a single guy not too long ago, who she didn't feel any attraction towards.The guy was all over her but she didn't just like him on that romantic level.There is no guy in sight currently and she's worried, if she had made a mistake by letting him go.
She's bothered if its true what the say about her.
I have pitched in my own onions to her, i am just wondering if at this stage,people are not allowed the right to actually choose who they want and like what they choose.
Is there a problem just loving the ones we love and not feeling for the one's we don't.
I am doing this article for greyamethyst, i really like that chic and i can't help but hurt with her.Seriously relationships are hard, take a good look at the percentage of articles posted by a good number of bloggers and it has to do with alot of relationship hiccups.Its good for some,yet sorely bad for others.Its so painful and the question is...should relationships be this hard?
I won't lie to you,but this post had been done before,but i had to revisit it.
Understanding the purpose of a thing determines how it is going to be utilized.This is why i advocate seriously that a woman be exactly CLEAR for herself when a man isn't measuring up, and that it is NOT HER FAULT and in most cases there is little one can do about it.
The purpose of any relationship is to grow.If there is no growth, the essence of the relationship is defeated.It is simply understanding what wasn't working,and the old roles you played, which all has to die inorder for you to grow.
It is important we become very honest with ourselves and what's really going on around us.Life is too short to hang around something that isn't good for you or makes you unhappy.The truth is to avoid trading your happiness, insights, or emotional wellbeing for someone's love or approval. It is downright frustrating and more often than not a surety for failure.
You and I know those relationships where you really care about or love someone, but it isn't just working!We try by all means to make or fix things by doing nice things, showing more love and what we get in return is more withdrawal and utter neglect. We make silly excuses for what's going on with our supposed partner by obssessing about what's wrong with US instead of having the confidence to take a good look at what your mate is really doing wrong and accepting this as the reality of the situation.
We all have our differences, we are never the same..our backgrounds,views, opinions, ethics are different, man and women reason differently.Understanding and communicating this clearly without any biases determines greatly how well put together a relationship can or should be. If we have people in our lives who just can't seem to accept us or put up with us, then fine!It's their loss not our's, trying to play the role of the convincer is just a waste of time and emotion, As Donald Trump said in the first season of the apprentice, "Taking the begging route,never makes you win"
I realized we don't have to be sorry for who we are or how we were created,we could only be sorry for the errors and accidental mistakes we make and strive to be better, but not entirely kill ourselves about them. Those who can leave us, can do so because they can...for if they had been for us, they would not have left us at all.
Its sad and very depressing when a relationship ends,it seems like a part of us just dies,like the person takes a part of us and disappears with it.Its the severing that makes us think we can't go on,but truthfully we can and when the time passes, we look back, see that we have survived.
I have seen friends crack seriously at the end of a relationship,took the begging route and yet didn't suceed.Some can handle their feelings,yet others can't..no blame laying here....we are all wired differently.
Suffice to say, when one party quits then we should quit too..abeg this doesn't apply to marriages oh!...we sure can't beg anyone to stay.Its entirely their choice.If they let go, we should also do the same.
Ok if you think that differently,please share your views.My stand on the matter is that we can't make anyone stay with us,if they don't want to.
In the absence of not knowing what to write for a full four days, going in and out of emotions.I have decided to say -
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
And yes i have this great gal and her sister doing a tour around africa by road,by ferry and stuff.I think they are so cool.Naija babes oh! I wish i had them guts!
Thanks to everybody who commented on my previous post...you all rock.
Have you ever been in a relationship where Mr. Man became bratty, self righteous, ego centric and self centred as days went by?
I wish to be able to identify myself how to differentiate between a matured man and jerk from the moment i set my eyes on him, thats why i researched for this article.
Have you ever noticed that immature men can't just simply hold on to relationships as well as a matured man can.
P.S, All round physical attractiveness is not an identifying mark for maturity.
In my short study of the above mentioned topic, i realized the following tid bits that i would lllllooooovvvvveeee to share with you.Believe me, this is a good bet for your time and attention.
#1 A matured man can stay calm in the storm and know how to rightly deal with situations.They understand how to remain calm even when things are their most intense and uncertain.This level of groundedness is something most women and I, might i add, love and appreciate about men when things go awry.Criticize a matured man and he will take it positively.
Immature men on the other hand, can't handle a woman's real feelings.He would simply fall apart when even the slightest hint of conflict or tension comes up. He will take it as a personal attack and gripe about it for a long time.Criticize him and the whole world would crumble.
A Matured man can handle your most intense feelings and remain honest and thoughtful when you share them (although they might not always agree with you). They understand the word called "Forgiveness".
An Immature man becomes unsettled and react negatively when a woman is the least bit honest and concerned about anything.To them any need to converse is referred to as drama or unecessary worry or details.
I reckon however that the ideal way to clearly distinct a matured man from a jerk is his ability to listen and communicate in a calm and loving way when a woman is at her most intense with him. Choosing a man who already has this quality of remaining calm in the storm can and will make everything in your relationship much easier.
ALSO.....
Being conscious about how one communicate feelings with your man, is the sign of a healthy and matured woman.
#2 What's His relationship like with others? Tell me who your friends are and i will tell you who you are...so says that adage. You want to differentiate, watch his relationships with others, who he moves around with!If he has a hard time nurturing and communicating in his relationship with his family, friends and colleagues, then check his maturity level. If he handles conflicts and issues with patience, compassion and understanding, and a positive attitude that has the goal of a positive and loving outcome in mind, its a good bet to assume this is how he will handle things that might come up with you.
However, if he takes offence whenever anyone sees him as less than perfect...or he instantly defends himself, redirects problems...you can bet he will not handle things well with you.
A relationship to a matured man is of high importance, he takes pride in his partner..differences irrespective.Even if they have to break up, issues are resolved amicably without any rifts. An Immature man however, blows things out of proportion, takes pleasure in being spiteful,strifeful and unforgiving.Always puts self first and thinks of what is only best for himself.
The clarity i have gotten from the following is a world changer and i must say i am pleased with myself.It has not only empowered me, but helped from stop worrying so much about what men are thinking and doing and start moving towards what is best and appropriate in finding someone who is well grounded and respectful. I realized you could actually tell alot about a person's maturity level from the very moment you meet them.That is why it is advised strongly that a woman shouldn't jump into bed with a man you don't know, i mean strongly advised....time spent getting to know yourself outside sexual intimacy shows for real, the true character of a person...remember familiarity breeds contempt. The hurt and betrayal that comes from partners involved in sex (especially for the woman)is far greater than when you have avoided sexual intimacy early on in a relationship....there's a level of respect you have for yourself within yourself...(u alone can testify to that) seeing how the person turns out to be at the end of the day.
P.S, Somethings in life are never to be regretted, cos in actual fact, that were eye openers and life changers.E.g. Think about the man you had secretly had a crush on and fantasized about for years.You finally came together and suddenly you realized that they were not much of it after all...Just a waste of emotions and time, selfish, annoying and utterly disrespectful...that's to mention a few....and you say to yourself... what a shame!...was it worth it afterall...
Please for the love of God, put aside your waning feelings for a sec and open your friggin eyes..there are jerks out there claiming to be men...beware!
Now that I know what they act and behave like,then i know He can't love me and be selfish at the same time.... "I don talk my own, i dey wait for your own!"
I stand today simply in awe of God's Faithfulness and i say "Bianule"...come and see what the good Lord has done.
Having done all i possibly know, in every human facet...i surrender and give it all to the Almighty God, my Father, The All Sufficient, The All knowing and all wise God.
O the depths of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His Judgements, and His ways past finding out! For who has known the mind of the Lord? or who has been His counsellor or who has first given to Him and it shall be recompensed unto Him again. For of Him, and through Him, and to Him, are all things: to Him be all glory for ever, Amen......Romans 11: 33 - 36
Today, I thank the Lord for Life. I am grateful because i can arise from my bed after a sleep that could have crossed me over to eternity and this could have only been possible because He himself chose to sustain me.
I thank Him for my family and friends, who have stuck with me through thick and thin. Loving me, caring for me and supporting me.
I thank Him for the opportunities and benefits he daily loads me with. The chance to grow, live and learn, to forgive, forget and love inspite of it all.
I thank Him for the enemies that rose up against me with great trials, temptations and persecutions. Had they not risen, i would never have known the victory He given me.
I thank Him for wisdom in deciphering opportunities. Knowing the ones i should hold onto and the ones i should let go.
I thank Him for the relationships that have worked and those that never materialized. I thank Him for the people that have stayed with me inspite of my flaws and i thank Him for the ones that have walked, it was simply because they could walk away, for had they stayed i would never have met the right ones.
I thank Him for the delays. They have taught me what it meant to wait and be patient. Given me the strength to know there are times and there are definately seasons and that no matter how long, my store house will without a doubt be filled.
I thank Him because of the Inheritance i possess in Him. I thank Him for the Garment of salvation He clothe me with, the Robe of Righteousness he endowed me, the cloak of praise He showered me with inspite of the madness around me.
I thank Him for preservation from Death,witholding my frail body from sickness, diseases and infirmity. Preserving me, friends and family from the dominating influence of disaster, ignominy, shame and reproach the world brings. Shielding me from all these by His word...Psalm 91....Guarding me consistently from harmsway, giving His Angels absolute charge over me.
I thank Him for His unending grace and mercy. Never failing, never ending. Consistently standing as a reminder for me inspite of my flaws and failings.
There are so many things I thank you for, things seen and those unseen. But most importantly, I thank you because you're not only My God and Father,You are my Friend, Lover, Savior,Protector, My Glory and Shield. All of this are insufficient to describe your faithfulness or who you are in its entirety.
I therefore come to this conclusion as my Fathers in Faith would and have and i proudly and unashamedly say, looking beyond myself or what i might be faced with right now to say that even if you refuse to remain God, You will forever be mine.
P.S...I got a call from another bank for a chat..and guess what the funny thing is..i dont know anybody there, i have never written any aptitude test, yet they have called me like three times between last week and now.
P.S* Peeps.This is not a post in any way.I am just looking for a way to relieve myself of tension.
Please do not mind me!
In the last one year now i have been doing an entrance level interview with the Equitorial Trust Bank(ETB). The time difference between each interview is usually very long and depressing.On several ocassions, i have given up on the search for that particular job offer.
Again after about 7 months, i was called for the final stage interview.I have been waiting again for the last two weeks to be called. Only for me to receive a call from one d peeps i did the interview with that she had just gotten her offer letter. I was happy for her yet distraught at the same time,y..because i have not received any such call.
I have been calling quite a number of people who did the interview with me and the response i get is in the affirmative. Oh dear!..i want this job so badly.I am almost at the point of a panic attack.
I am freaking out, my palms are sweaty, i am so anxious.My spirit keeps telling me to relax but i can't just seem to put myself up to it.I don't want this opportunity to pass me by, i so need this change.
Oh God! Please help me.
P.S* I warned you oh..this is not a post oh...i can't even concentrate on doing blog rounds.
Today i am so emotional,but in a very good way.Why because in a short amount of time,not only has my life changed, my entire thought process has been rekindled and has received the capacity to be renewed on a continous basis.
Everyone needs companionship, nobody and i repeat,nobody is supposed to be ever alone. We don't have to go thru the ups and downs of life alone. We were created for companionship, no one is born an island. You were made for me and i for you. The purpose of our meeting is such that i might be better than how you found me.
With you i have learnt to develop a good attitude inspite of what i face.To keep my focus in the right place and not on my problems.Understanding the need to have a sense of humor and not be uptight and shrewd.
With you i have learnt that happiness increases my chances of attracting my much desired need unlike sadness, that tends to sap away my almost already diminished strength.
With you i have learnt to be open minded, transparent and honest, for who knows through my giving, someone else might receive life for today. Never to take anyone for granted,but hold every person in high esteem.No harm in being kind.
With you i have learnt to share and not hoard, for to what purpose is it if a man gains the whole world yet loose his soul.Learnt enthusiasm, open mindedness and empathy.
With you i have learnt courage, to do the much dreaded inspite of my fears...knowing that an airplane doesn't go along with the wind but against the wind.With this i have learnt no to cower in fear but be courageous and strong.
With you i have learnt motivation.Learnt how to have fun,yet acquiring knowledge at the same time.Here i have come to understand the true meaning of venting knowing that i have peeps like you watching my back.Her i am safe,free and unafraid to be myself in my quest of being successful. Here my secrets are safe.
With you i have learnt that everybody goes through the same stuff i do in varying proportions and everyone that i know from here has lived through them in one way or the other. I have learnt that mess ups are real and common,yet never forgetting the fact that we are simply human.I have learnt the need for forgiveness and the need to repent when wrong.
With you i have come to understand the true depth of love that cuts across sharing,caring,understanding,forgiving and not being judgemental. Understanding that people do respond to openness, sincerity and genuiness and that the strength of one's character is duly displayed in adversity.
With you my self esteem that has been ripped to shreds has been boosted, i have earned a sense of belonging in your presence.I have come to understand through you that true joy and fulfillment can only be found being in the centre of God's divine purposes.Landing right smack dab in the middle of his will.
With you i have learnt the true meaning of being a whole, strong and settled woman.Who doesn't have to wait around for prince charming to make life happen for her.I have come to understand what it means to be quite a catch.
I could go on forever stating the things i have learnt knowing you, but i am leaving the rest for you to decide for yourselves....which is to say..what have u learnt from blogsville?
Its been a short journey, but it has been tremendously blissful,fulfilling and satisfying in all ramifications and i have enjoyed everybit of it. Here i am living on a new level..no more mediocrity. I am useful here..my skills are being to put to the test here...the sweet refiners fire.
The "you" that i refer to are the consistent,ardent,ever faithful bloggers on blogsville. I dedicate this post to you all for your drive and zeal to being yourselves and giving room for others to grow and learn through you ever flowing words of encouragement.
We might be from different families,ethnic groups,backgrounds,living in different continents of the world,but ...we are all the same...one family, one blogsville blood flows through us all. We have been made for ourselves. You for me and I for you.
With all my love to the Blogsville Family(not community).
In the last four days i have been wondering what my next post will be.I guess now i know where to start from.
Today, I got an award from EROLyrics. Isn't she just sweet.I am honored,flattered and ecstatic. I didn't know that being myself could earn me this. You made my day very special and i am very thankful.
To EROLyrics..u are a source of inspiration. I wake up each day looking forward to hearing from you, waiting earnestly to know wasap next.You have honored me today.God in HIS infinite mercies will continue to honor you too. I will never forget you.Its been a short while for me here on blogsville,yet knowing you has made me better than i used to be.
And to everyone who has visited,commented,yabbed and sent sweet things to me..God bless ya'll.
I however dedicate and pass on this same award that has been aloted to me to:
originalmgbeke .... 3 exes and a wedding..thats something.
There are a whole list of blogs that deserve this award and i could go on and on.I am loving this peeps...they make blogsville a wonderful place to be at.
P.S*
The Rules: 1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back. 2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design. 3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing that they have received an award 4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional). 5. And then pass it on!
Some things, yes are so tinzy winzy that you'd expect that one should know by now...but sometimes you just need to hear other people's take, say or words on the matter, for clarity sake and just to know.
I said sometime a while ago that i met someone,....we hit it off almost immediately.Considering my stuck up self, i was amazed at the way things went.Passions and emotions were flying around so quickly...so much so that after a week of our meeting...(shamefully speaking) we had sex. It was wonderful..i couldnt believe myself letting go like that but the whole experience for me was interesting.
Its been a month since the encounter of sheet rumbling...we've been talking but no show....by me that feels good,there's no pressure and it gives me a certain assurance that it wasn't all about sex.
Well right now, i am beginning to have doubts....y!....he sent me a message less than an hour ago asking if i was up for "HARD SEX" this weekend....i went blank for a few minutes...infact i didn't feel like replying...i kinda felt upset...he replied again and asked for my response..i still didnt let up..then he said bye..with an emoticon sticking out its tongue....
The first thoughts that swept thru me...was that he was the same as every other man i had met.
I really like this guy...infact he makes me feel like some men are different..but this just blew me...
Am i overreacting?....pls tell me..or is he just beginning to show his traits......Yikks!!!...I am in the running mood right about now....
Kai but i like him oh!!!!...P.S* I hope my family doesn't see this post...they will know i v been cutting corners....
I really thot deeply about this post, thot it would be helpful to share.....
Asking for help is psychologically risky because it triggers a mechanism in the human psyche called the norm of reciprocity. If you give me something—money, advice, time—I must give something to you that we tacitly agree is of roughly equal value. Otherwise we won't sustain an amicable bond for long. Only the churlish keep score overtly, of course, but even generous people get uneasy when one party in a relationship takes and takes and takes without giving anything in return.
1. Frame all your problems as how-to questions Simply begging for aid when you feel overwhelmed is likely to make honest folks back away, while exploiters smell blood in the water. Instead, you might do better to phrase all your problems as "how" questions: "How do I break through the glass ceiling in this company?" "How should I go about changing this flat tire?" "How can I help cure AIDS?" Whether your problem is tiny or monumental, asking "How…?" means you're a capable person in the process of becoming even more capable—not a charity case or a manipulator's mark. The more actively you pursue the knowledge and skills to extricate yourself from a mess, the more new sources you'll locate.
2. Locate sources of information and insight The more specific your how-to questions, the more quickly they'll lead to useful strategies or solutions from individuals, books, TV shows, Web sites and a thousand sources you won't even notice until your attention is primed. As New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman (among others) has pointed out, the accessibility of information has exploded so dramatically over the past few decades that humble individuals can now solve problems and perform feats once reserved for a few elite experts.
"To paraphrase the adage: If you wheedle a fish from someone, you'll eat for a day; if you wheedle advice from a great fisherman, you'll eat for a lifetime."
3. Take fishing lessons The key here is that you're soliciting help that won't diminish the resources of the other person. Each person's supply of "fish" (funding, energy, time) is limited, but fishing know-how can be replicated infinitely, at negligible cost. Even if you're going with a money problem to your filthy rich uncle, ask for education, not a handout. "Please give me money" is a self-disempowering request. "Please show me how to resolve this financial muddle" is a self-empowering one, even if Uncle Buckmeister also pitches in with a cash donation (which he's much more likely to do for a determined problem-solver than a simple beggar). If you honestly set out to learn how to untangle your own snafus, you'll find that even people who shy away from raw neediness start offering advice.
4. Receive with gratitude, not grasping Whether you've asked for it or not, help that's given freely is part of grace, meaning that the only response necessary to satisfy the norm of reciprocity is gratitude. And what I mean by gratitude is not "Thanks…and what else can you do for me?" Grasping at help like a drowning swimmer tends to scare away the resources you've already got, as well as potential assistance.
According to a new blog site i found today...www.theparakeet.blogspot.com which states "EVERYTHING COMES INTO THEIR OWN IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME". I have not only resolved to wait patiently, hold steadfastly,believe endlessly, but also to place this is as a reminder, such that when the fullness of my time appears i would know how to rejoice, and place a hold on where i had been.
In the fullness of time, i am too sure i will meet the man for me..who will not only love me for what i look like, but accept my flaws,live with them and not be stirred by my imperfections.
In the fullness of time, i will also rejoice over that desired job and accordingly give thanks to the Almighty for helping me learn the true meaning of waiting on Him.
Everything i have xperienced till now has been shadows...the best i must say is yet to come.Everyone has their time...i wait resolutely, thankfully, acquiring all that needs acquiring while i wait, fighting the need to give up, yet waiting.
Correct me if i am wrong, but when a man loves a woman i think this is what he'll do for her.
His mind is on her. He is consumed with thoughts of protection and provision. He pays close attention to her every word, her wants and desires. He looks for ways to please her, to lavish gifts upon her. If he truly cares about her, he won’t hold back materially…he’ll create little ways, find avenues to meet her needs. When a man loves a woman he longs to be near her. Nothing else in his day to day life can come close to matching the memory of his time spent with her. He loves the sound of her laughter, the beauty of her smile. He is fascinated with her fluidity and entire personality. Try to stand in the path of a man who truly loves his woman. Try to separate him from her. Try to keep them apart and you will experience the dedication, the drive, the sheer unrelenting force of his will power. He will move a city to get to her. He will leave everything behind and pursue her with a passion that has little or no regard for others. If you stand in his way he will punish you. You will quickly come to understand the consequences of blocking the path of a man who loves a woman. When a man loves a woman his heart beats faster when he is with her. Emotions surface that he has no words for. At the mere sound of her voice, butterflies flutter in his chest and belly. When a man truly loves a woman, she knows she has been loved. Her body reacts to his slightest touch. Her ears can locate the sound of his whisper in a crowded room. She feels safe in his arms, secure in his presence. She has a peace in her mind when chaos surrounds her. She is confident that the determination and strength of Hercules is at her side. When a man loves a woman, she is rest assured that he is a fortress for their home. Sometimes a woman has a tainted past. Do you think he is concerned about the past? He is in love with her. His love for her covers her imperfections. He hopes the very best for her. He can leave her a gift on her pillow for no apparent reason other than to make her smile. He sees the good qualities in her and is blind to anything else. When a man loves a woman he calls her on the phone in the middle of the day, just to hear her voice. He stops at the store and searches out the things she enjoys. He may not understand why she likes sweets and flowers and silk and delicate things. He may not understand how she finds beauty in jewelry and diamonds. It doesn't matter. He is on a mission. He brings these things to her because he loves her. Do you know how far a man will travel who loves a woman? Are you aware of the pain he will endure to reach her? Here is your answer. When a man loves a woman there is no limit to the distance he will go. There is no end to the struggle he will overcome to get to her. A man who loves a woman knows no pain too great. He will shed his blood for her; an adversary or his own, it is of no consequence. When a woman has been loved by a man, she will know it. There is no mistaking this power with lust or ambition. She will know it and the world around her will know it. Look into her eyes, the evidence is there. You can see it in the way she longs for his touch and no other. If you are in doubt she will tell you quickly, "This is my man, my Prince, my Knight!" This should help you know, whether he’s stringing you along or deeply committed to you. Any relationship in my opinion that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable, or that you have to work for, is too expensive.
Question?
Having spent 26+ years without a stable boyfriend...would it be advisable to jump ship and date anyone, just to avoid the alone times????
I knew i had to endure, i knew i had to exercise my ability to bear prolonged exertion, pain and hardship despite the present looming circumstance around me to get ahead. For a full week i couldn't do what i had come to love...blogging because i was weighed down immensely.
In my consistent attempt to be the best i can be, be fulfilled and be deeply rooted and satisfied in my niche, the road has been tumultous, frustrating and depressing.Searching intently for my place, where i wouldn't just be one, a regular in the crowd. Deep within my heart, there's an assurance it would be okay, but the ever nagging and present reality sends bolts that are sufficient to wobble the knees.
I need to stay motivated, be confident and reassured resolutely that everything would be alrite.Waiting as it is known is usually worthwhile in the end, but the distance between the beginning and the end is never easy, whether one is waiting for a job, a result, or a phone call.
In the midst of my wait, as the storms begin to rage, my desire to remain grateful begins to wane.My heart wants to remain thankful but my flesh questions the need to be, seeing that things aren't going very well. While i dilly dallied between my decision on gratitude, i stumbled upon what helped....
In everything give thanks..."before now i had wondered how one could give thanks when everything looked bleak with no hope in sight.But then realised the scripture did not say, for everything but in everything.And why? ...To keep me motivated, inspite of setbacks. Now my gratitude not only keeps me alive but makes me wiser, helping me see beyond where i am. Gratitude according to Melanie Beattie unlocks the fullness of life, turns what we have to enough, and more, turns chaos into order, confusion to clarity, the unexpected to perfect timing and mistakes into important events.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates vision for tomorrow.
