Monday, September 22, 2008

Dating a matured man


Have you ever been in a relationship where Mr. Man became bratty, self righteous, ego centric and self centred as days went by?

I wish to be able to identify myself how to differentiate between a matured man and jerk from the moment i set my eyes on him, thats why i researched for this article.

Have you ever noticed that immature men can't just simply hold on to relationships as well as a matured man can.

P.S, All round physical attractiveness is not an identifying mark for maturity.

In my short study of the above mentioned topic, i realized the following tid bits that i would lllllooooovvvvveeee to share with you.Believe me, this is a good bet for your time and attention.

#1
A matured man can stay calm in the storm and know how to rightly deal with situations.They understand how to remain calm even when things are their most intense and uncertain.This level of groundedness is something most women and I, might i add, love and appreciate about men when things go awry.Criticize a matured man and he will take it positively.

Immature men on the other hand, can't handle a woman's real feelings.He would simply fall apart when even the slightest hint of conflict or tension comes up. He will take it as a personal attack and gripe about it for a long time.Criticize him and the whole world would crumble.

A Matured man can handle your most intense feelings and remain honest and thoughtful when you share them (although they might not always agree with you). They understand the word called "Forgiveness".

An Immature man becomes unsettled and react negatively when a woman is the least bit honest and concerned about anything.To them any need to converse is referred to as drama or unecessary worry or details.

I reckon however that the ideal way to clearly distinct a matured man from a jerk is his ability to listen and communicate in a calm and loving way when a woman is at her most intense with him.
Choosing a man who already has this quality of remaining calm in the storm can and will make everything in your relationship much easier.

ALSO.....

Being conscious about how one communicate feelings with your man, is the sign of a healthy and matured woman.

#2
What's His relationship like with others? Tell me who your friends are and i will tell you who you are...so says that adage. You want to differentiate, watch his relationships with others, who he moves around with!If he has a hard time nurturing and communicating in his relationship with his family, friends and colleagues, then check his maturity level.
If he handles conflicts and issues with patience, compassion and understanding, and a positive attitude that has the goal of a positive and loving outcome in mind, its a good bet to assume this is how he will handle things that might come up with you.

However, if he takes offence whenever anyone sees him as less than perfect...or he instantly defends himself, redirects problems...you can bet he will not handle things well with you.

A relationship to a matured man is of high importance, he takes pride in his partner..differences irrespective.Even if they have to break up, issues are resolved amicably without any rifts.
An Immature man however, blows things out of proportion, takes pleasure in being spiteful,strifeful and unforgiving.Always puts self first and thinks of what is only best for himself.

The clarity i have gotten from the following is a world changer and i must say i am pleased with myself.It has not only empowered me, but helped from stop worrying so much about what men are thinking and doing and start moving towards what is best and appropriate in finding someone who is well grounded and respectful.
I realized you could actually tell alot about a person's maturity level from the very moment you meet them.That is why it is advised strongly that a woman shouldn't jump into bed with a man you don't know, i mean strongly advised....time spent getting to know yourself outside sexual intimacy shows for real, the true character of a person...remember familiarity breeds contempt. The hurt and betrayal that comes from partners involved in sex (especially for the woman)is far greater than when you have avoided sexual intimacy early on in a relationship....there's a level of respect you have for yourself within yourself...(u alone can testify to that) seeing how the person turns out to be at the end of the day.

P.S, Somethings in life are never to be regretted, cos in actual fact, that were eye openers and life changers.E.g. Think about the man you had secretly had a crush on and fantasized about for years.You finally came together and suddenly you realized that they were not much of it after all...Just a waste of emotions and time, selfish, annoying and utterly disrespectful...that's to mention a few....and you say to yourself... what a shame!...was it worth it afterall...

Please for the love of God, put aside your waning feelings for a sec and open your friggin eyes..there are jerks out there claiming to be men...beware!

Now that I know what they act and behave like,then i know He can't love me and be selfish at the same time....

"I don talk my own, i dey wait for your own!"



14 comments:

~Sirius~ said...

So I came to your spot, a bit confused when you mentioned that we can tell from your new posts that you were over your mood, and I wasn't seeing anything, so I refreshed, and There they were! 2 posts! lol............I like the facts stated here. be sure some of us were ticking boxes.

ShonaVixen said...

second!!!yay..go me, go me...lol
Girl, i was nodding along as i read your post, you hit the nail on the head girlie...mature men take criticism well, dont behave like lil brats and as you said...assess the company they keep, even the language they use..some grown men think they're auditioning for a part in Lil Wayne's video..sad sad sad!!
Loving ur post boo xoxo

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Gem,glad you are feeling much better and you definitely right dont we all need a mature man to fall in love with......Ps: Shona, when I said put on your running shoes, I did not mean sprint past me just like that lol

Flourishing Florida said...

i just read one mail i sent my girlfriend abt MM, den he was putting in his application. another dude had already applied n advance& he was one correct effizious dude, so i was comparing & contrasting their qualities. & i saw n d last line, dis dude & MM handled disagreements differently. dis ur post just brought it home dat i had indeed made d right choice.

uNWrItten* said...

lol..men!!..cant live with them..cant live without them...psssh...love ur blog

Emilia said...

Way to go girl love the post but guess maturity here is not necessarily age related right but got to do with the person...
relationships can be a mystery esp communication

? said...

"to be able to identify myself how to differentiate between a matured man and jerk from the moment i set my eyes on him,"

u no go fit lai lai
even if una live under di same roof for 20 years, dis terrible world, everything na so so lie lie...

Rebirth said...

word!!! i copied it straight for future purposes when i need to make choices.......

Tigeress said...

Nice blog. there is definitely a big difference when relating to a mature guy comapred to the numerous immature ones out there. big difference.

Bondgirl said...

You hit the nail on the head...matured men just get it... younger men...its unfortunate but they are not there yet..
Great post, copied and saved!

Rita said...

Guess it's too late to comment?

Smaragd said...

mature man any day or time!

Buttercup said...

Thanx for sharin this!

Red Sapphire said...

Rits what are u talking about.i have to hear your mouth.
Everybody thanks alot for all the comments.
Don't have alot of tyme to thank one after the other for the comments.
Infact i see new peeps..going once chanced to check out their blogs.