Why do we cheat?

I spent the better part of last week wondering why we do the above....the question that made me ponder the most was what cheating in itself constituted...would it be being physically intimate alone with another person's partner, having inordinate emotional feelings that constitutes cheating or are there other acts that makes one a cheater.

Uhmmm.....i am just wondering....I asked a couple of people what it meant to cheat...got some answers...still wasn't sufficient to numb my curiosity, so i went in search again...Was my curiosity satisfied....i'll be waiting on your response to decipher that.

Different people have different views as to what constitutes ‘cheating’. For some(gender irrespective) , for the partner simply to look at another  may be regarded as cheating, for others it is being intimate with another person that constitutes ‘cheating, and there are some who appear able to accept flirting and even intimacy with another person but it is an emotional involvement that constitutes ‘cheating’.
So let us try first to establish what is ‘cheating’ and what might be considered ‘normal’ behaviour. First of all, there needs to be some degree of commitment and exclusivity between the two partners, furthermore, this commitment needs to be understood and agreed by both people. Without this there can be little question of ‘cheating’ on behalf of either party.
Obviously, marriage, engagement, living together would constitute a degree of commitment. Regularly dating for a period, may also be seen as constituting a commitment. It is here that the confusion starts to arise for a man may not feel he is committed to another person until he has said so to her, for the woman the simple fact that he dates her regularly may be seen as a sign of commitment.

Having gotten that out of the way, the usual glib answer gotten for cheating is because "they can"...but is this answer justifiable or satisfactory.....i guess not!Men and women have various reasons why they cheat and yes of course, we women sabi cheat well well!!...(that is if i am following the above definition).

To some men, having many partners is seen as a symbol of their status,a need to boost their ego or esteem.The motivation is usually sex - new sex, more sex,different sex-(newness and variety).Studies show most men who cheat want to experiment sexually and experience the rush associated with "new sex". It is said that it is their way of prolonging indefinitely the early and intoxicating phase of infatuation in a relationship. Others believe men have affairs to avoid intimacy, recover their lost youth, or escape an unhappy marriage.

Men who fear intimacy will have affairs to maintain power in their relationships. If a man doesn't commit to his lover, he controls his level of vulnerability. Some men cheat in fact to avoid any real intimacy. Intimacy scares them, so they distance themselves from their partners by cheating on them and they don’t get emotionally involved with their lovers. This way they never have to trust their partners or rely on them. This kind of man may also fear conflict.
Then there are men who will strike up an affair when they start to feel the fear and loss that comes with aging. They realize they are no longer young and invulnerable, so they have an affair to deny that they are getting old. Finding someone who is “young and new,” makes them feel more youthful and in the game.(Whatever that is!).

Women on the other are not at all left out.As supposed to men, women are motivated to cheat by more emotional factors than men. Women are really looking for communication and emotional intimacy in the new bond.They want to talk to someone who makes them feel important, cared for, secure and understood.The search for feeling sexy, playful and less sexually inhibited may also be a start of an affair for a woman.While sex does happen, sharing confidences ranks high in importance.

I am too sure a lot of us will say that none of these reasons are justifiable.Whether it is boredom, search for self-esteem,pain that relationships bring,newness and variety, whatever....so has this article answered the thorny question of why we cheat?Probably not!.This question in itself is a very complex one and the reasons or causes will vary from instance to instance.

Share your views and experiences, if you're a cheater or you've been cheated on....i really would like to hear from you.